But the truth is, I miss those days when I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of me. I think I’m slowly getting back there, to a place where I like myself enough that it doesn’t matter so much if people talk about me behind my back. But of course, it is more difficult now because I am no longer living a solitary life.

I think this happens to many people when they get married. It’s not so much that your partner tries to change you, but that you try to change because you think it would make life better for your partner. In reality, the only thing that you should be trying to change about yourself when you get married is your stupid habits like leaving wet towels on the floor or not cleaning the toilet for three months.

When MJ told me he wanted to get married I gave him every chance to back out. Not only was I hugely pregnant at the time, I was also as emotional as a toddler who hadn’t napped in 10 hours. OUT OF CONTROL. Before I got pregnant I’m convinced that had I ever received my Native American name it would be Princess Control. But In January 2006 I was anything but.

MJ married me anyway and for that reason alone I feel compelled to dress myself and brush my teeth most mornings.

I’m sure as I move on to the next phase of my life and my writing I will remind myself of these things. I’ll look at MJ and say, Yeah, well YOU got yourself into this!