I have been wanting to get this off my chest for so very long - mainly because it's too sitcom-ish to keep top myself. Mom and Dad, I confess, straight from my diary, February 6, 1988 (the one with the hearts on it)

It's very rare that I do something entrely for myself, but the other day I did. Mom would kill me if she found out. But i took a chance anyway. Jeanna Henderson called me and asked me to go to a dance place called The Diamond with her. She already had tickets to this event and her friend canceled at the last minute. The Diamond would have male strippers there that night because it was Ladies Night. Although I was nervous and scared, I went with her. I told mom I was helping decorate for a Valentines Day party at Jeanna's college. She's 3 years older than me. Mom believed it.

They don't ask for ID at the club unless you want to buy a drink so I had no problem getting in. When the show started three dancers took the stage and one of them, a blonde guy, kept looking at me. I could never stare back, partly because of embarrassment and partly because I didn't want him to think I was like all those other women who were screaming. He looked very familiar and I tried to remember where I'd seen him. Nothing clicked.

Other dancers took the stage and this guy went to the back of the room and danced on a box. He was only wearing a G-string. I knew I could go hand him a dollar for a kiss but I would hate myself if I acted just like any other girl. So I watched other people hand him money and he danced for them and passed out kisses.

I started to run out of time since I had to be home at 10. One of Jeanna's friend's, Kelly had a camera, and I got an idea. I counted up $3 from my purse and went over to him. when he saw us coming he hopped to the floor. Up close, I was positive I knew him. "Hi, I said. Um, I just want a picture."

He looked surprised. We both turned to face the camera and he put his arm around me and pressed our cheeks together as close as they would go. Kelly snapped the picture. When he turned to face me he took hold of my hands. Then, probably seeing my surprise he stopped perfectly still and asked what school I was from. When I told him he said he thought I was in college, but that he knew a lot of people from my high school. He told me his real name. There was a pause in the conversation and suddenly he leaned forward to kiss me. He pulled me in and REALLY kissed me. With HIS TONGUE. I finally put my arms around him and kissed him back. When he released me we both just stood there for a minute. There were girls lining up after that. He squeezed my hands and said, "It was very nice meeting you, Penny."

I got my coat and left.

Back at school I told Missy and Kellie what happened. It turns out that he is their old dance coach! Missy told me everything about him including that he was Mr. Oklahoma 1987 and he is an OU cheerleader and he used to to Sing-A-Grams. She could hardly believe he is a stripper. I hope I didn't get him into trouble! I had no idea...

My daughter will one day ask if she can go with her friend to decorate for a Valentines Day party and you KNOW what I'm going to say.
"OVER MY DEAD BODY!"