There are two brothers who have children who are deaf. One brother is hearing and the other isn’t. The deaf brother doesn’t want to get his daughter the implant because he and his wife fear their daughter will not be part of the deaf world. The other brother and his wife have decided to get their new son the implant because they feel it is their responsibility to give their child the best possible chance to have a good life and being deaf, both brothers admit, hinders a person in today’s time.

When I became a parent every single decision that we took for granted would be made naturally was not natural at all. There are so many decisions to be made. I felt like I should go back to school and not be handed my daughter until I am fully educated in healthcare, psychology and nutrition. It’s difficult enough to decide what parenting approach is best or what to feed our daughter and when. Suddenly everything seemed to be a potential danger. From the synthetic carpet fibers to sun overexposure, to preservatives in food; I sometimes wonder where it stops.

If we had our way, August would eat only organic foods, wear only certified organic clothes and she would spend hours a day playing outside slathered in sunscreen. She would never smell a cigarette in her life; she would never eat meat; nothing that isn’t 100% natural and toxic free would ever come close to her body. Some people say this is ridiculous. For me, it is my gut instinct telling me that the reason so many people are dying of cancer is because we are doing something to ourselves and to our environment that causes cancer. Frankly, our struggle to give August the best possible chance to live a happy healthy life scares the shit out of me on a daily basis.

But here is where it gets harder. These two brothers and the parents of the wives have such strong, differing opinions about the cochlear implants that they have been fighting about it for over a year. Every person involved just wants what is best for the children, but they have different opinions about what that is. I watch these parents struggle to explain that they love their children and are only making their decision after plenty of research and soul searching. The grandparents on each opposing side are heartbroken. And there is this scene where the mother who believes her daughter should not get the implants begins to cry because her motherhood is called into question and the word “abuse” is tossed out there so carelessly.

My stomach by then is in knots. We have made one decision so far that alarmed my in-laws and raised the eyebrows of some friends. We have decided to wait on (and possibly not get) all of the governments recommended vaccinations for August. We have made this decision after extensive research and soul searching. If you are interested in all the reasons why, I suggest you do your own research, as there are plenty of books out there on the subject. I’d love to explain it to you, but I don’t have the free month of time it would take to get it exactly right and say it all in such a way that doesn’t sound like I am fearful of a government conspiracy to infect my child with a Stupid Virus.

We have broke down and gotten her some of those shots. The above picture is proof. See the little band-aide on her thigh?

I am less stressed about taking a different road regarding August’s healthcare than I am about my in-laws opinion and what they said to us regarding our decision this summer when they came to visit. I completely love the family I have married into, but my mother-in-law made me feel like she saw me as one of those hippie moms from the 60’s who lived in a commune with unsanitary outhouses and only dressed her children in potato sacks. I was tempted to tell her that if August gets sick we will just cover her in leaches to suck out the poison and she would be fine if she survived.

I think there were moments when I gave my brother and sister a hard time regarding decisions they made for their children and for that I am incredibly sorry. I was young and that is my best excuse. But those who know me will be well aware that I hardly make any decision without fully considering the consequences. I have been called calculated and I take that as a compliment. So, whatever choices we make concerning August, you can be sure are well-informed ones. You can also be sure that I will not welcome your opinion unless I asked for it.

When did I get so mean? Don’t you remember?

To all moms and dads reading: God bless you for all the shit you will endure on behalf of your attempt to do your children right.