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Me On TV

20 · Apr · 2004

I never thought I would say this, but there is something really wrong with not having access to television. It has been exactly one month since I have seen anything on MTV. It has been two months since I have watched local news. I am even missing the last season of Friends. The convenience of electronics that connected me to the rest of the world is too expensive for me these days because around here if you don't pay for cable, you can't pick up even local TV channels. I also don't have a radio except in my car. This was really fine when I was in Romania, when I had all these other things to do to fill my time. But being in a new city, living alone in an empty apartment without a TV can push a person over the edge.

I'm sorry for letting you down. Those of you who thought I would spend every free minute of my unemployed life at the public library. I have seen the San Diego library. It's no barrel of laughs. Plus, they won't give me a library card without a permanent address. I've also watched all my DVDs at least three times -a record for me regarding any movie. If it weren't for Chad and Melanie lending me videos from their collection, I surely would have taped into a side of my psyche that is usually reserved for nursing home years. And unless you all would like to start sending me books or money I am virtually a prisoner of my own mind. Well, and I'm also a slave to the local coffee shops outdated magazines.

The ironic thing about my not having access to television programs is that I have just completed my very first and probably my last interview with television producers. Ross the Intern from the Tonight Show with Jay Leno has been given his own talk show and he wants to make people‚s dreams come true. So, acting on a whim a couple of weeks ago I wrote in, explaining that I want to be a syndicated magazine or newspaper columnist. I want to do something that's a cross between Sex and The City and Sermon on the Mount.
I told him about milk memo, my readers, and the crappy last twelve months of my life. Apparently this sort of desperation appealed to those in charge and so they called me in. And there I was wondering if I had on too much lipstick during what was ironically my first official interview since moving to California.

They clearly have the upper hand. Do you mind if I point this camera at you while I ask you a few personal questions?

For an excruciating twenty minutes I felt like teenage Claire Danes in My So Called Life. Hearing my own voice annoyed me. I wanted the interviewer to ask better questions. But I endured anyway because, let's face it; I could use a shove in the right direction.

When it was over, I took the elevator down to the street, amazed at how boring I am. It doesn‚t matter what I have done. It doesn't matter where I have been. If I don't seem interesting on camera, I'm doomed. I rest my head on the steering wheel of my car to console myself. Driving down Wilshire, smog fumes rolling through my car windows, it was clear to me that some people are born stars and some aren't.

But that was Thursday. Today is Monday and this morning I watched Chad's video copy of Tombstone again. So here‚s what I've decided:

I am the law.
Sometimes you gotta fight for the underdog. And right now, I'm the underdog.

If you would like to see me get a shoot at my dream on the Ross Show, please write to the producers by filling out this form on their website.

This is for all of you who said you wish you could help me get published. I have never asked for anything from my readers. I have never tried to promote milk memo, but this might be one reason why I'm not getting anywhere with my writing.

Just tell them that you are writing to explain why you want to nominate Ms. Penny Rene who interviewed with them on April 15, to get her shot at being a real writer. They‚ll ask for my birth date, which is 07/13/1971. Be sure to mention where you live, your name and what you like about my writing. It might help if you send your favorite quote from a milk memo as well, so they can see if they think I have what it takes.

After you send the creators of The Ross Show an e-mail, let me know. I promise that I will keep each of you on this list updated about my progress. The show is not on the air yet and they will be shooting the pilot soon. While, in retrospect, my interview wasn‚t that bad, there are plenty of people who are vying for the same attention. It may take a while before I have an answer. Thank you in advance for your support.

Penny Rene

"Are you gonna do something or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?"
-Wyatt Earp, from the movie Tombstone

Posted by Penny Rene at 02:29 PM